I believe, Lord help my unbelief

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We're solidly in the pentateuch now...the students are just finishing Exodus.  It's always interesting transitioning back into the Old Testament world.  It takes a few weeks to start to think like an Israelite again...

It's amazing how much you can learn about your own heart through studying the lives of the early Israelites.  One thing I'm seeing today:  It's crazy how quickly we tend to blame God for the slightest bit of hardship that arises, and in the blaming we tend to gloss over/minimize/conveniently dismiss and forget all the other times in the past that God bailed us out/came through/blessed/provided...you name it.  I used to think that maybe it was all the late nights up with my kids that's been causing me to be so forgetful...but reading Exodus its pretty clear to me that selective amnesia towards the saving Acts of God on our behalf is something that plagues us all.

If I didn't know myself so well I'd think its ABSOLUTELY OBSURD that Israel, just THREE DAYS after seeing the most AMAZING act of deliverance the world has ever seen, began to complain and doubt God.  Just three days after walking through the Red sea on DRY GROUND the Israelites are acting like they've been hopelessly abandoned in the wilderness to die of thirst (Exodus 15:22-25).  Three hot days...three thirsty days...and its just as if all the plagues, the passover deliverance, the Red Sea crossing and the TOTAL destruction of the most powerful nation on earth right before their eyes never even happened.


If I didn't have so much experience doing the same thing with God myself I'd be mad as heck at Israel for how they acted...but....how quickly we all play the "what if" scenarios out in our minds..."what if the year end bonus doesn't come, what if my health deteriorates, what if I lose my job, what if the roof leaks again...what if...what if...what if...until we're all blue in the face and TOTALLY forgetful of the fact that none of the scary "what if" scenarios have EVER taken us completely out of the game...and not once, have ANY of them materialized in a way that God couldn't and hasn't brought us straight through and out the other side.

I don't want to be like this anymore.  I want to trust like a little kid (Mt 18:3)  I want to see the kingdom, believe it, live it, love it, trust it like my three year old daughter does.  She's got no "what if scenarios" no contingency plan beyond childlike trust.  I love that...the thought of living with abandon like that totally draws me into God, and completely freaks me out at the same time.  But that's what the journey of following Jesus is like...you gotta try and see it like a little child would, or you don't see it at all.

I don't want to be the type of person who hurried through the Red Sea afraid that the walls of water were going to crash back down before they made it through.  If I'm going to have to make the journey regardless, I'd much rather enjoy the ride, take a second to pick up a shell or two from the ocean floor, put it in my pocket and NEVER FORGET that it was God's hands who parted the waters of my darkest past.   He did it once, and he will do it again.