Where are you and what are you doing now? 

I live in Orlando, FL, and currently, work as an assistant at the Episcopal Diocese of Central Florida for Justin Holcomb. I also get work on the side as a writer.

What sticks out to you the most 3+ years later?

I graduated from SBS in 2012 and left the staff in 2017. I think what sticks out to me most is just how much my time of studying the Bible and digging a deep foundation of belief both shaped and changed the course of my life. I went in as a very legalistic believer who was hungry to know and understand what God's Word said. I didn't want people to tell me what it said, I wanted to be able to open it up and figure it out with the right tools. I went in with a stubbornly decided idea of where my life was headed and what I was going to do - regardless of what God might think about that. Two months into the school I started to realize how wrong that attitude was. God used SBS to change everything I'd ever been taught about who he is and what he wants from me. His grace and the amazing way in which God used the school to change my heart and the course of my life are what will always stick out to me most. He didn't always give me directions or full answers on where to go, but he ALWAYS gave me his love, grace, peace, and courage to do whatever he asked.

How are you still using what you learned at Emmaus?

Every sermon I listen to, every book I read, every TV show I watch, every song I hear - it all gets filtered through the lens of Inductive Bible Study and what the Bible has to say about it, whether I want it to or not! A more specific example is that I'm helping my boss do research and gather Bible verses for a devotional he's writing on Christology. I've been able to use my knowledge for devotionals, children's church curriculum, and just teaching it to others both in groups and on an individual basis. I don't know what God has in mind for the future, but I know it will continue to come up and be used as time goes on.

Looking back how did Emmaus affect your relationship with God and the Bible?

Before Emmaus, I'd always approached the Bible with reverence, but also feeling like "this is too hard for me to understand and I don't know what I'm doing". Being able to learn why each book was written and why it was included in the Bible gave me the foundation I needed to understand better who God is. You cannot spend a year intentionally studying the Bible and NOT have your view of who God is changed. I grew up afraid of the Holy Spirit and even of the Father. Jesus was my friend, the only one I could talk to with any sense of comfort. My view of the Father was one of an angry dad who only comes around when I've messed up, who saw everything bad I'd ever done, and was constantly disappointed in how much I failed to be better. The Holy Spirit I really knew very little about and was afraid to even acknowledge. He was, to some degree, a scary ghost to me. But the God I knew from the church and from my own interpretation of what I'd been told, was not the God I found in the Bible. God showed me a loving and gracious Father who loves me deeply. He showed me a comforting Spirit who guides and guards me. Emmaus gave me the gift of the whole Bible and an ever-growing understanding of the Trinity. Most importantly: Emmaus didn't answer all my questions about God, it made me hungry for more!

I should add, however, that Emmaus taught me about community, leadership, and friendship too. Over my time as a student, and on staff, I learned so much about what it means to be a good leader and fellow member of the body of Christ. There was room to confront and to laugh and to love one another. There was also an admittance of failure and a modeled humility and generosity that I had never seen in the church before.

Best memory from the school?

So many! As a student, it's almost impossible to pick just one! We had so much fun together. My roommate and I spent many nights talking, making apple pie together, and watching good movies. I had my 21st birthday as a student and the amount of love I received from the staff and the students still warms my heart. They did everything from decorating my desk and room to breakfast out to kidnapping me for a late-night run to get ice cream. There are beautiful memories I have of our trip to the beach, of fall break with my roommate and two other students, of students chasing each other around with Nerf guns and toilet plungers (it's a long story). The whole year is one long beautiful memory that I treasure. As a staff, my favorite memory will always be from my first year. I walked into the classroom late at night to find one student there. When I asked if she was okay, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and just said, "I get it. I finally get it. God loves me so much. His grace is deep and strong. He doesn't just love me...he likes me too."

What was your favorite book of the Bible during your SBS and why?

During SBS my favorite book ended up being Leviticus. Hebrews didn't make much sense to me until I read Leviticus and studied the Law of the OT. Understanding Leviticus brought me to a deeper understanding of who God is and just how much Jesus did for me in his death and resurrection. It also gave me deeper reverence for him, to see him as my high priest AND the only perfect sacrifice. The Pentateuch in general gave me a better view of just how BIG and powerful God is, and that, in turn, impressed upon me how amazing his mercy, love, and grace are. But Leviticus was what left the biggest impact on me.

Did you have a moment where it all "clicked" for you?

Probably during Galatians because I realized I was trying to earn God's love and be worthy to stand in front of him while still constantly feeling like I never would. It was the first moment I ever truly felt completely seen and entirely accepted and loved - no strings attached. My realization of freedom and ease in God's presence because of what Jesus' sacrifice meant for me didn't make me want to "misbehave" or act more sinful, rather it made me want to fall deeper in love with the God who had shown me, such love.

Anything else you want to share or want us to know?

If you're thinking of doing the school because you want to understand the Bible and grow in your relationship with God: do it. It will be one of the hardest, most amazing things you'll ever do. I don't know your situation or what sacrifices you might have to make in order to attend, but I can promise that it will be worth it. The only word of caution I give you is this: you will get out of the school what you choose to put into it. The teachers at Emmaus are amazing and they will work hard to give you all the tools and information you need to succeed at getting everything you possibly can out of the school. But you are the only one who can do the hard work of studying. You are the only one who can choose to get up every day and make it happen. You will have books you love and books you don't care for much. You'll have weeks where everything crumbles and weeks where you feel like you're soaring. You'll probably even have staff members you love being around and some you don't care for as much. But if you give 100% of all you have to give every single day you're at Emmaus, I can promise that you'll get back much more than you give. Every sacrifice will be worth it because Jesus is worth your time and effort. God is so excited to have a deeper relationship with you. But don't do this for him to somehow earn his approval or his blessing on your life, do it for you. Do it for your own personal spiritual growth and understanding. Do the school, study your Bible, ask God to change your heart and your mind, and your life with his Word. I promise he will, and it won't be the way you expect it to be, but there will be an amazing ripple effect where the things you learn and the changes that happen in your life will have a positive and challenging effect on everyone you know and love.

A huge thank you to Ellen for sharing her experience with Emmaus Ministries. If you would like to learn more about the school Ellen attended, click here.